I recently had my eyes opened in regards to parenting and my youngest daughter.
I am like most working mothers out there; on the go from the moment you wake up until your head hits the pillow. At any given time, you are a chauffeur, activities manager, grocery supplier and laundry queen.
I am definitely known around our house as the one who has a schedule and list for everything, as well as high expectations for me and my family. With that being said, I am never really sure where I am at with that. I often feel like I am second guessing my choice of words or actions in conversations – is this a time to be firm or is this a time to just hug it out? Do our kids feel safe? Valued? Loved? As a parent, I want my kids to be good, responsible, respectful people and always give 100% effort. I am always quick to jump to where I could have done better – I should have said this; I should have given one more cuddle. Did I use all of my GT tools effectively?
Last week the Speech and Language Pathologist was at our house for her weekly session with my youngest daughter. She has been witness to: meltdowns in our house out of frustration, good days, not so good days, and hopefully some stellar moments as well. As I help her gather her things at the end of the session she tells me “it’s always a pleasure to come to your home each week”. I think my mouth fell open. I was thinking she likely says that to all of the families; but I felt compelled to ask her “why”? She goes on to tell me that my daughter is polite, giving, respectful and always tries hard. I just smiled.
As a parent it’s always easy to envision what you want for your children and family as a whole, and all too often focus on the negative (which stays with you like Velcro) instead of all of the great things that you are doing to help nurture these people (which is more likely to slip past you like Teflon).
I was fortunate enough to be reminded that one moment (that could have gone a bit better if you used your tools appropriately), is just that – a moment. Tomorrow is a new day for you to be better or do better or celebrate! You need to appreciate the steps that your kids are currently taking, what unbelievable people they already are and have faith that you are doing the best that you can and always learning.
Both of my daughters are incredible…. sometimes you just need a little perspective.
– Melanie Loroff, Associate Executive Director